Thoughts of an Impostor

Posted by on October 21, 2010

Sitting in the land of my forefathers,
Gazing upon the dirt that was once
lush and green, full of life
I observe

Sitting in the land of my forefathers,
Gazing upon the people that were once
the spirit and embodiment of the Khalsa
I judge

Turban wearers are plenty,
Bearded men are plenty,
Kirpans and Kare are plenty, yet
Sikhs are none

Prayer readers are plenty,
Head bowers are plenty,
Hand folders are plenty, yet
Sikhs are none

Water dippers are plenty,
Sing-a-longs are plenty,
Guru Granth Sahibs are plenty, yet
Sikhs are none

As I judge, As I observe;
As beautifully ugly as ever
Self reflection shoves its
Way in

Slanderer, Gossiper, Liar
Biggest sin of all
A rapist of my soul
I am

It begs,
It weeps,
It screams,
I laugh with Maya

It dreams,
It thirsts,
It hungers,
I sleep with Maya

It gives,
I take,
It loves,
I hate

I stole the uniform
of It’s Husband
I wore it and
Raped It

I am an ugly mural
of your Beautiful self
Tainted by my relations
With Maya

Hah! I remember
As a Lover I did pose too
Begged for forgiveness
Promised to be anew

As a poser,
As an impostor,
I beg for
forgiveness

I ask you God, what wicked game is this?
One identifies Truth
One identifies Love
Yet can neither be Truthful nor Loving?

I see the mountain
I see the valley
I see the peak
Yet I walk blindly?

I see You
I see Me
I see You and Me
Yet I live tragically?

I am beaten
My soul is shredded
My intellect shriveled
Now, can you please tell me?

I have already died
every second of every
minute of every day
of every season

I have already died
a thousand thoughts
a thousand dreams
a thousand hopes

I have already died
again and again in the
vanity of my efforts
to be Divine

I want to:
Live You
See You
Dream You
Hold You
Love You

Why test a failed lover?
Why test a failed student?
Why play this game,
When You know I will fail?

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